What is my story? Well I could write about many stories from my life, I could even write my testimony, however I thought I would write about a story most of you hear about. This story started like most, however unlike some this story is existing now and will keep on existing until I die. In a way this story is a my testimony, it definitely has many parts in my life's testimony.
What story? The story of me and snowboarding. Probably some of you would have seen this coming, but either way its is a story of many trials, errors, and excitement. Hardly anyone knows that even though snowboarding isn't my career right now and I haven't been doing it most of my life, it is a big part of me and has changed me not only in the ways that you around me see, but also spiritually. Yes, snowboarding has actually been one of the biggest things that has affected my life spiritually. So is snowboarding a religion to me? No thats not what I mean, its through experiences snowboarding or non-snowboarding experiences that have made me look at life differently and notice things in me that need to change.
Of course my story started back when I was younger. I used to be the little skier who liked to fly down the slopes at ski sawmill. I loved skiing very much then, I always wanted to go more times than I did in a year, but even as hard I tried to get my parents to take me more times I only ended up going once a year.
As any kid I have always looked up to a lot of people and I have always been one to hang out with older people. I had a few friends my age, but I almost liked my older brother's friends better. I don't know if its because I had a fascination with wisdom and found that in older people, if I wanted to be doing what the cool older people were doing, or if I was old for my age in my mind. The people I looked up to when I was a skier was the snowboarders. I remember looking at the snowboarders and thinking man, they are so cool, I want to be like them and snowboard.
So in 2007 I tried snowboarding for the first time. I wanted to be cool like a snowboarder should be, I didn't want the ugly orange helmet I was given at first and asked for a black or blue one instead. If your a snowboarder you can't be not cool it just isn't right.
I always liked to go skiing with a friend so Brooks Gleckner and I decided to learn to snowboard together. Neither of us knew what we were doing and we had no one to teach us so we looked ridiculous falling down all the time.
A hard thing to explain about snowboarding is that snowboarding has a feeling of i guess a freedom, coolness, and sweetness. I can't just tell you what snowboarding is like, how fun it is, and you will understand what I'm saying. Snowboarding is unexplainable you have to go out and try it. An analogy of this is a sermon, you can hear how great whatever the pastor is telling about is, but until you try it will you know the power and greatness of it.
I would like to point out that even as great a feeling snowboarding is, this is where snowboarding stops and God keeps on going. What I mean is snowboarding is all about the feeling, God goes way beyond just feeling.
Those totally cool feelings from snowboarding are I guess what kept me going every time I fell flat on my face. You can fall down every couple of feet, but each time you get a little bit farther and better your feeling of accomplishment goes way up. Every time I would fall down flat on my face I would get up with possibly snow on my face, down my neck, in my gloves that were soaked, and up my sleeves. Each time you fall you learn, the more you fall, the more you learn. I have this saying, "snowboarding teaches you to fall." So maybe thats what pushed me on, the knowledge that every time I got up I had more knowledge to feed to my knowledge hungry brain. learning how to fall is essential to keep from getting hurt and being able to learn from the fall. Some times you need to let yourself fall, because you know if you don't the results would be much worse.
After that first day I knew I would never go back to the skier I was, the future of snowboarding was much more exciting. Even as humiliating those days of learning were, they were the necessary experiences for my snowboarding story to become what it is.
The next year was I think when I started snowboarding in my backyard. At first I was very unsophisticated, I only used an old terrible plastic snowboard and a few metal pipes on the ground as a grinding bar. This was just the beginning of my crazy dedication to snowboarding.
In 2009 I had problems with forgetting what I had learned the year before. As a result I fixed that problem by going snowboarding more often the next year.
The next year was the year when my snowboarding life really changed and grew. This was the year I designed a more sophisticated grinding bar for better snowboarding in my backyard that got made. This was also the year my tricks got bigger, better, and increased in quantity. This was the first year I made a video of my snowboarding tricks from the season too.
Last year, 2011, was the craziest year of all. I went to New Hampshire to a place called Canon and another resort called Loon Mountain. Up north where the mountains and resorts are bigger it sorta feels like a dream. You can't believe just how amazing everything from the chairlifts, to the mountain, to the trails are.
Then something weird happened after I got home from New Hampshire. Anybody would think that a resort that is five times bigger and better than the one your used to, would be your favorite resort. However, I had developed a strong liking to ski sawmill, it is like a home to me now. Even as much I liked and how insane New Hampshire was, when I got back home I really missed my snowboarding home, ski sawmill.
The first day back at ski sawmill, was the biggest change that happened in my snowboard story. It was a great day, but then disaster struck. It was a good day still, but not even close to how I thought it would be a good day. On my third or fourth run of the day I went to do a trick, but when I came back down I caught my back edge. I fell about three feet with most of my body weight landing on my wrist. I felt a lot of pain, but figured my wrist was fine. However, after another run I knew I had done something to my wrist. I ended up going to the ER thinking I might have a broken wrist. I had been given good news though, I had only broken my wrist growth plate. I was still off of snowboarding for three weeks as a result though. Even after that God had given me an ability to stay happy even with how that day ended up being. The reason it was still a good day as a whole though was because of what I learned from the whole experience.
For a while after the incident I was faced with the question of asking myself what the reason for this experience was. I was sure there was a reason and that it was for me to learn something.
Eventually God hit me with the realization that I had pride. Not only a little though, I had a lot of pride in myself. I needed to be humbled and what I needed was to fall down snowboarding at my favorite resort when I was feeling all high and mighty and break my wrist growth plate.
The first thing this realization changed was how I was going to look at myself. No longer was I the best at the things I do well and couldn't mess up. I also now knew in my mind that I needed humbleness.
Then one night after that event when I was feeling scholarly I sat down at the computer and started writing a song. My mind was fresh with my problem and what happened in my earlier distorted mind. I was able to lay rhymes down really fast. Line after line it got better and better and it became a story in and of itself. It told the story of how I had too much pride, fell, and then was picked up by God and told I needed humbleness.
This past summer a lot of things were going though my mind. I don't know how to explain it all, but I guess I wasn't sure if God wanted for me to snowboard for a career. I was thinking I would get my driving licence this fall before the snowboard season so I could go more often. Then one day when I was driving to Wellsboro, I came upon a school bus coming to a stop to let kids off. I didn't think I had time to stop and the bus's red lights weren't on so I kept on going. A guy on the side of the road picking up his kids jumped in his truck and followed me to my destination, where the police came and wrote up a report. The first thing I thought about when I thought about the consequences of my mistake was; "I won't have my licence for snowboarding". However, in the end I thankfully wasn't penalized. When I talked to God about this experience and what it was for I was given the thought and feeling that God had given me this experience so that I would know that He wanted me to go on with my pursuit of snowboarding. I felt like I had crossed a huge bridge over the Atlantic Ocean into Europe."Europe" was a new perspective, new area to explore, and now snowboarding would be something completely different and profound for me.
From my whole snowboarding story I guess a summarisation would be that my snowboarding life was about learning to listen to God and to always be open to new ideas. God is very profound.
Sunday, November 4, 2012
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
The art of explaining experiencing in writing
To be a good writer you don't need to be a good speller, you don't need to know good english, and you don't need good grammar. What you need to be a good writer is passion and a "feeling" for what you writing. If you don't feel what your writing or haven't experienced it for yourself your writing probably won't be good or impact a lot of people.
However, almost always the hardest thing to do when writing is to get your point across. You have experienced or know what your talking about, but they haven't. A lot of the time you can't just talk, think, hear, or read about something you have to experience it for yourself.
Chances probably are you can't get them to experience it, so you must explain it in such a way they understand and feel what your feeling about what your writing.
An explanation I once said was I can tell you all about snowboarding and how fun it is to carve down the mountain, but you won't know how great of a feeling it is to carve your way down a mountain until you try it. The person your telling needs to experience it to know what your feeling.
If you can't get the people your speaking to to experience what you talking about and what your talking about has to be experienced not just heard about, you got a problem. How do you fix this problem? You need to write in such a way, with so much feeling and emotion (they need to know its coming from the depths of you) that they either want to experience or learn what you did. Or maybe God can step in and move all the people into understanding.
This is the reason I'm stressing this point so much, is as I am writing this I am really feeling what I'm saying and want you to understand what I'm saying, but I still feel like its not going to get across.
This is why good writers are few and not always so good. Their job is to make you feel like you just experienced or want to experience the experience. Words are hardly ever enough, even when you use your words profoundly.
However, almost always the hardest thing to do when writing is to get your point across. You have experienced or know what your talking about, but they haven't. A lot of the time you can't just talk, think, hear, or read about something you have to experience it for yourself.
Chances probably are you can't get them to experience it, so you must explain it in such a way they understand and feel what your feeling about what your writing.
An explanation I once said was I can tell you all about snowboarding and how fun it is to carve down the mountain, but you won't know how great of a feeling it is to carve your way down a mountain until you try it. The person your telling needs to experience it to know what your feeling.
If you can't get the people your speaking to to experience what you talking about and what your talking about has to be experienced not just heard about, you got a problem. How do you fix this problem? You need to write in such a way, with so much feeling and emotion (they need to know its coming from the depths of you) that they either want to experience or learn what you did. Or maybe God can step in and move all the people into understanding.
This is the reason I'm stressing this point so much, is as I am writing this I am really feeling what I'm saying and want you to understand what I'm saying, but I still feel like its not going to get across.
This is why good writers are few and not always so good. Their job is to make you feel like you just experienced or want to experience the experience. Words are hardly ever enough, even when you use your words profoundly.
Thursday, September 20, 2012
No Fear of Death and Pain
So as I have metioned before I was at city challenge this summer with my youth group and how much it has affected me. This time I want to mention the first night we were there. It was the first night so all of us had no idea what to expect or think. My sub-group in my youth group went to a homeless ministry place in Columbus where we would start out and then go give out food to the homeless.
The first two places we went to where the homless met together we were just getting used to what we were doing. By the last place we were still uncomfortable, but we were getting alittle more used to it.
At the last place we stoped we were almost done, but there was still about one guy alone who still needed food so I went over to him. He was an older gentleman with that sorta rough, homeless person, that has seen alot of stuff on the streets look. I asked him if he wanted some food, then after he took his food I was about to leave and go back to my group because I felt awkward and sorta isolated he stoped me and said "Do you want to know how to kill someone?" I responed back "nah, I'm ok". Then he just started talking about how in the army they just teach you how to kill people and how he was in the Vietnam War and what that was like. Then he talked about how he spent three years over there just killing poeple and how at first its hard to kill people in a way, but you have to because if you don't kill them they will kill you. He also later metioned how he had killed someone just a couple of streets away once too.
At this point Brooks Gleckner who was in my sub-group was still over at the van with most of the group. Caryn our group leader was alittle worried about me being alone over there talking to that guy and thought I looked like I was uncomfortable. As a result she sent Brooks over to just be there for company because the guy did look a little shady.
As brooks came over the first thing he heard was the guy saying "You ever think of killing anyone?" Then Brooks sees the guy reach into his pocket and fumble around as if he had a gun in his pocket at that moment. Brooks was all worried at this point and then when the guy pulled his hand out of his pocket and pointed at me Brooks really though I was a goner. After we noticed it was just the guy's hand the guy starts laughing and we are just nervously laughing along with him. Then all of a sudden he stops laughing and just abruptly says "I'm Serious!" After that point I was still unsure of whether to laugh or not.
I on the other hand was slightly worried durring the time the guy had his hand in his pocket. All I had running through my mind was, does he have a gun or doesn't he?
There is a great quote in the movie Cars 2 where Finn Mcmissile says "You never feel more alive then when your almost dead." This Is a very true quote and I must say I like to live on the edge because of how it feels. However, when Brooks told me he thought I was a goner all I could do was laugh. I just don't have fear for my life. I belive my little fear for life is from when I gave my life to God. Because God has my life I can't die because Jesus already did that for me. I Signed up to Die - by Thi'ls explaines this point perfectly
Death don't have a hold on me
So death don't put no fear in me
I don't think that you hearin me
I signed up to die
Because God owns my life I no longer have to fear the pain of death and torment I can therefore live profoundly and without fear of loss of life. I can live my life God has given me, which I gave to Him.
The first two places we went to where the homless met together we were just getting used to what we were doing. By the last place we were still uncomfortable, but we were getting alittle more used to it.
At the last place we stoped we were almost done, but there was still about one guy alone who still needed food so I went over to him. He was an older gentleman with that sorta rough, homeless person, that has seen alot of stuff on the streets look. I asked him if he wanted some food, then after he took his food I was about to leave and go back to my group because I felt awkward and sorta isolated he stoped me and said "Do you want to know how to kill someone?" I responed back "nah, I'm ok". Then he just started talking about how in the army they just teach you how to kill people and how he was in the Vietnam War and what that was like. Then he talked about how he spent three years over there just killing poeple and how at first its hard to kill people in a way, but you have to because if you don't kill them they will kill you. He also later metioned how he had killed someone just a couple of streets away once too.
At this point Brooks Gleckner who was in my sub-group was still over at the van with most of the group. Caryn our group leader was alittle worried about me being alone over there talking to that guy and thought I looked like I was uncomfortable. As a result she sent Brooks over to just be there for company because the guy did look a little shady.
As brooks came over the first thing he heard was the guy saying "You ever think of killing anyone?" Then Brooks sees the guy reach into his pocket and fumble around as if he had a gun in his pocket at that moment. Brooks was all worried at this point and then when the guy pulled his hand out of his pocket and pointed at me Brooks really though I was a goner. After we noticed it was just the guy's hand the guy starts laughing and we are just nervously laughing along with him. Then all of a sudden he stops laughing and just abruptly says "I'm Serious!" After that point I was still unsure of whether to laugh or not.
I on the other hand was slightly worried durring the time the guy had his hand in his pocket. All I had running through my mind was, does he have a gun or doesn't he?
There is a great quote in the movie Cars 2 where Finn Mcmissile says "You never feel more alive then when your almost dead." This Is a very true quote and I must say I like to live on the edge because of how it feels. However, when Brooks told me he thought I was a goner all I could do was laugh. I just don't have fear for my life. I belive my little fear for life is from when I gave my life to God. Because God has my life I can't die because Jesus already did that for me. I Signed up to Die - by Thi'ls explaines this point perfectly
Death don't have a hold on me
So death don't put no fear in me
I don't think that you hearin me
I signed up to die
Because God owns my life I no longer have to fear the pain of death and torment I can therefore live profoundly and without fear of loss of life. I can live my life God has given me, which I gave to Him.
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Verseinsanity
The Bible if full of verses that mean so much. So i decided I should post a bunch of popular, meaningful, and profound verses. Thus justifying the title Verse-insanity.
We fix our eyes not on what is seen [suffering], but on what is unseen [eternal life free of suffering]. for what is seen [suffering] is temporary, but what is unseen [future good life with Christ] is eternal 2 Cor. 4:18
While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Rom. 5:8
There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away. Rev. 21:4
In all things God works for the good of those who love him. Rom. 8:28
for it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God--not by works, so that no one can boast. Eph. 2:8-9
Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. 2 Tim. 2:22
Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life. John 14:6, and there is salvation in no one else Acts 4:12
Right desires and motives honor God. 1 Cor. 10:31
A day of judgment is coming when God will hold men accountable for every careless word they have spoken. Matt. 12:36
The one who loves Jesus must obey Him. John 14:21
God will care for those who put Him first. Matt. 6:31
Like runners in a race, followers of Christ must throw off every hindrance in order to give Him their best efforts Heb. 12:1-2
This verse really makes me think about evaluating my life and finding what is holding me back.
The sinful mind cannot submit to God's law. Rom. 8:7 and disciples of Jesus must orient their minds as He did Phil. 2:5
Taken from The School of Biblical Evangelism by Kirk Cameron and Ray Comfort
We fix our eyes not on what is seen [suffering], but on what is unseen [eternal life free of suffering]. for what is seen [suffering] is temporary, but what is unseen [future good life with Christ] is eternal 2 Cor. 4:18
While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Rom. 5:8
There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away. Rev. 21:4
In all things God works for the good of those who love him. Rom. 8:28
for it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God--not by works, so that no one can boast. Eph. 2:8-9
Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. 2 Tim. 2:22
Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life. John 14:6, and there is salvation in no one else Acts 4:12
Right desires and motives honor God. 1 Cor. 10:31
A day of judgment is coming when God will hold men accountable for every careless word they have spoken. Matt. 12:36
The one who loves Jesus must obey Him. John 14:21
God will care for those who put Him first. Matt. 6:31
Like runners in a race, followers of Christ must throw off every hindrance in order to give Him their best efforts Heb. 12:1-2
This verse really makes me think about evaluating my life and finding what is holding me back.
The sinful mind cannot submit to God's law. Rom. 8:7 and disciples of Jesus must orient their minds as He did Phil. 2:5
Taken from The School of Biblical Evangelism by Kirk Cameron and Ray Comfort
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
Authenticity
A lot of times when I see someone who is different or weird looking, I look down on them. Why do I do this? Its because I form in my mind an idea of how things should be, from my past experiences. So I form an idea in my mind of what is a normal person. However, when I or anyone else tries to define what a normal person is we can't put down a firm definition.
Most of you probably already know this, but I'm a very opinionated person. Then I should be able to come up with a definition for a normal person right? Yes I have, but its not like your thinking. I say the definition of a "normal" person or anything is relative.
If you have an idea in your mind of the "normal" person you can try to explain it, but you won't be able to. If everything you look like and act like is relative in definition it means everybody is different, just like God made us to be. If we are all supposed to be different this makes me want to try to be myself and be different. I should be the only person living my life.
I try to be authentic, different, and myself. I don't want to fit in while still fitting in. I want people to find something different about me that eventually draws them to God. Now you don't have to be different looking and acting to do this, but its just how I do it.
If its by being "normal" or "profound" that makes you who you are it doesn't matter, just be yourself not someone else, be authentic.
Disclaimer: (I must warn that you shouldn't become the wrong kind of different. Don't be the annoying, weird to be around, and just not the likable type because you try to be different. Don't make yourself an un-Godly example of different).
Most of you probably already know this, but I'm a very opinionated person. Then I should be able to come up with a definition for a normal person right? Yes I have, but its not like your thinking. I say the definition of a "normal" person or anything is relative.
If you have an idea in your mind of the "normal" person you can try to explain it, but you won't be able to. If everything you look like and act like is relative in definition it means everybody is different, just like God made us to be. If we are all supposed to be different this makes me want to try to be myself and be different. I should be the only person living my life.
I try to be authentic, different, and myself. I don't want to fit in while still fitting in. I want people to find something different about me that eventually draws them to God. Now you don't have to be different looking and acting to do this, but its just how I do it.
If its by being "normal" or "profound" that makes you who you are it doesn't matter, just be yourself not someone else, be authentic.
Disclaimer: (I must warn that you shouldn't become the wrong kind of different. Don't be the annoying, weird to be around, and just not the likable type because you try to be different. Don't make yourself an un-Godly example of different).
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Un-Monkinisom
(Now if you haven't read Monkinisom yet you should before you read this post)
If you just read or remember from my Monkinisom post I was fasting from a lot of stuff, using my gifts God has given me was one of them. At the end of the fast I thought I should be trying really hard to use my gifts because when I didn't God told me I should. When I came back from my fast I started using my gifts more because I thought of how I should be using my gifts all the time because He gave them to me for me to get the best out of them. However, when I did the opposite of when I was on my fast I still felt like my connection strength with God wasn't what it should be.
Then God spoke to me. He gave me the thought "When you were fasting you weren't using your gifts enough. You should have used some of the extra time you had for that. However, when you went the other way using your gifts a lot it took too much time."
I learned you need to have balance. You can either do too much, too little, or just right. I can't be an extreme "monk", but I also can't use all my time using my gifts and forget my relationship with Him. Its all about the ballance. God is that balance. If I put Him in the center both sides will eequal out. God will tell me whether I should do more or less if I listen to his voice. there is only one thing I need to do constantly and with all I have. Follow God's Profound direction. God made us to do many other things too.
If you just read or remember from my Monkinisom post I was fasting from a lot of stuff, using my gifts God has given me was one of them. At the end of the fast I thought I should be trying really hard to use my gifts because when I didn't God told me I should. When I came back from my fast I started using my gifts more because I thought of how I should be using my gifts all the time because He gave them to me for me to get the best out of them. However, when I did the opposite of when I was on my fast I still felt like my connection strength with God wasn't what it should be.
Then God spoke to me. He gave me the thought "When you were fasting you weren't using your gifts enough. You should have used some of the extra time you had for that. However, when you went the other way using your gifts a lot it took too much time."
I learned you need to have balance. You can either do too much, too little, or just right. I can't be an extreme "monk", but I also can't use all my time using my gifts and forget my relationship with Him. Its all about the ballance. God is that balance. If I put Him in the center both sides will eequal out. God will tell me whether I should do more or less if I listen to his voice. there is only one thing I need to do constantly and with all I have. Follow God's Profound direction. God made us to do many other things too.
Friday, August 17, 2012
One Life
You have one try at life. You only have one chance. Life is singular. Life is ending. Life doesn't last. Life ends.
Truly we have only one life to live. All around there are people dying on this earth and you will never see them here again. We need to find in life what it really is.
Some are directed by God into the good life and find their purpose in life living for God. Others God allows to fall, be temped by the devil, and lies. Wait? God allows people to fall? Yea, everything is in God's hands, just think about how God allowed the devil to wreak havoc in job's life. So, the ones that aren't given the good life have to search for it and most likely they will go the wrong way. They chase for life in many things that don't mean anything. They search for it in money, possessions, girls, thrills, pride, accomplishment, and drugs. Life is about finding true happiness and meaning. The world doesn't offer either of those things.
Life is about finding your purpose in it. You have the most influence on it, so if you don't like it change it. When I think about living my life I think about a song by Switchfoot. Switchfoot's song lyric of "This is Your Life" really makes you think about what your doing with it.
This is your life, are you who you want to be?
This is your life, are you who you want to be?
This is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be?
When the world was younger and you had everything to lose.
Don't close your eyes.
This is your life, are you who you want to be?
This is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be?
When the world was younger and you had everything to lose.
Don't close your eyes.
Seriously, are you who you want to be? This is your life you can do whatever you want with it. I say we need to reach for the sky, reach for something higher with meaning. If there is no standard or purpose does life have any meaning?
When I was at creation festival this year I was working on drawing a picture. I was having problems coming up with ideas for my drawing, but then right at the beginning of the Newsboys concert inspiration and ideas flew into my brain. They must have been from God because the more I thought about the ideas the more they made sense and the more meaningful they were. Here it is.
You can see it says "You Have A Life To Live" on the bottom right corner. That is the main meaning of the whole picture, but there are so many other meanings based off that meaning in it. Its an abstract picture so it has to be explained to be understood. The man standing there is stuck inside the walls of restriction that are holding him back from living his own life. The sun and moon on the right say that dawn is breaking and time is running out. If he doesn't move quickly his chance to escape and live will be gone. What does the man do? He brakes the window in the wall that lets him see the better life on the other side. The better life is the beautiful flowers, trees, and nature just outside his reach. Now that he has broken through the window in the wall he is able to get out and Live His Life, there waiting for him. - Ecclesiastes 4:8 expounds on this.
Ecclesiastes 4:8 There is a man all alone; he had neither son nor brother. There was no end to his toil, yet his eyes were not content with his wealth. "For whom am I toiling," he asked, "and why am I depriving myself of enjoyment?" This too is meaningless--- a miserable business!
Where is life? How do you find it? There is a song by Thi'sl that says "I signed up to die". Its really talking about martyrs, but I think it also can mean that when you sign up in the book of life you sign up to die, to yourself. To find your life you have to lose it. When you give you life to God that is when you really find life.
Ecclesiastes 4:8 There is a man all alone; he had neither son nor brother. There was no end to his toil, yet his eyes were not content with his wealth. "For whom am I toiling," he asked, "and why am I depriving myself of enjoyment?" This too is meaningless--- a miserable business!
Last week God spoke to me and said; "Your time is running out". Now I'm not sure if He meant I'm not going to live for another month or time moves fast and your average lifespan isn't very long. Either way this made me really think about how it would affect the people around me when I die. What do I give to people around me (for example joy or meaningful thoughts) that if it was to stop being given would affect them? This really made me think about not living my life for myself, but others and God.
Don't wast your life searching for a good life in the wrong things. Go live your life, you can change it. You need to get past the walls holding you from real life. Die to yourself and live for God. Life is singular so what are you going to do about it? Are you going to live your life profoundly, live for God, and make the most of the life you have?
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